How you are triggering your inner mean girl

Pensive woman in bed

Your inner mean girl… the self-destructive voice inside your head that tells you that you aren’t good enough, you are wrong, you should be sorry, and that you don’t look your best. Sound familiar? 

We all have an inner mean girl, and regardless of how fantastic life may seem, she always seems to dampen the day with demeaning and unkind comments. It’s likely that she has been around for your entire life and has a daily commentary on every aspect of your life. 

I recently read a article that discussed ‘the inescapable pressure of being a woman on Zoom’, where women are consistently bemoaning their appearances and abilities amongst their colleagues. If you have a chance, I would really recommend that you take five minutes to read it, it sheds an all-important light on how we as women are constantly degrading ourselves, apologising for ‘not looking 100%’ or for not understanding a task or question. 

After reading this article, I began browsing the internet looking for the best ways we can stop triggering our inner mean girl, and here are my favourite tips. 

  • Acknowledge when you are degrading your abilities, emotions or appearance. Catch negative self-talk as it occurs and try to combat it with a positive thought or compliment to counteract it. This may sound meticulous but reinforcing positivity into your thought-process will become natural after a while and will interrupt negative thoughts as they present themselves!
  • Empower yourself and let others know how great you are! If your inner mean girl is telling you that your opinions are weak, invalid or simply won’t be noticed, make sure that you do the exact opposite and vocalise them! Do yourself the favour and put some empowerment and strength behind your words. Not only will this make you feel great, but others will notice too! 
  • Daily affirmations have been scientifically proven to have a positive effect on both your physical and mental wellbeing. If you can look at yourself in the mirror every day and give your self a compliment, or even better, a list of things you love about yourself, you will begin to immediately recognise all your beautiful attributes and personality traits. It may take some time to not feel silly doing this, but it is so powerful and will help you recognise how incredible you are. 
  • Fake it ‘til you make it. If you are struggling with self-confidence, whip out your best acting skills and keep your head high, opinions strong, and walk and talk confidence! Not only will you trick others to assume that you are entirely sure of yourself, but you will eventually morph into this version of yourself. 
  • Give yourself a pat on the back. If your inner mean girl is particularly nasty, it can be tough to get her to pack her bags. Make sure you give yourself some credit as you slowly gather her things and kick her out the door. It certainly is not easy, but it is worth it. 


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