There are many things, when navigating life, that we feel are tick boxes we must fill in a
certain order – by a certain standard set by the society we live in.
It starts from an early age (let’s say at school) where after spending years learning and
achieving our grades, we’re faced with leaving school and deciding whether to go into higher
education or enter the workforce. The first set of expectations we have on us very much
revolves around qualifications and education – because they are a stepping stone to how our
future might look. Then, once we’re through that tricky era of growing up we hit 16, and
suddenly it’s time to get a provisional driver’s license, and at 17 years old learn to drive and
pass our test to achieve some independence.
Then before you know it, you’ve hit 18 where you’re officially classed as an adult and are
welcomed into the world of drinking alcohol, going clubbing and adulthood. Very similar to
taking the stabilisers off of a bike, you’re left to wobble into the world and start to carve out a
life for yourself as a young adult. Once you’re through that milestone more expectations and
responsibilities are expected of you. As a functioning member of society, it is expected that
you have a good job, healthy relationships, potentially marriage, sometimes children, buying
property… the list goes on!
Something I’ve noticed, and I’m sure I’m not alone, is that social media is the place where we
only see the very good and the very positive aspects of someone’s life. We don’t often post
our weaknesses over our strengths. We don’t often highlight our failures over our successes.
It’s common practice to post the findings of a project or piece of work, rather than showing
the process of the journey – which often involves lots of ups, downs, bumps in the road and
learnings to get to the final result.
So you can imagine then, my frustration, with struggling to do something most people have
done at the age of 17. I’m competent in many areas of my life, I feel as though I (mostly) have
my life well organised and put together, but yet when it comes to passing my driving test… I
am floundering.
In my job, no two days are the same. I am constantly learning. So whilst I first put my
challenges with driving down to having been out of education for so long, and struggling to
be the student rather than the instructor, I realised that simply isn’t the case.
Over the past year, as I’ve navigated driving lessons and attempted tests (many frustratingly
close to a pass) I have realised a few things about myself:
I am determined to get there. Embracing failure and taking constructive criticism has been difficult, but I’ve not let it defeat me.
It’s all in the mindset. I’m not saying I am going to ‘manifest’ passing my driving test, but a positive mental attitude most definitely helps.
Just like in school, your teacher makes a huge impact on your learning, and your enjoyment of learning. Switching to a calmer and more patient instructor has done wonders for my confidence and ability.
It’s okay to talk about things you’re finding difficult. And I have found that the more people I talk about my driving woes to, the more people I’m finding having the same struggle. I’m meeting more and more adults who also do not have their licenses, it’s not just me.
I’m ready to take on the challenge (for the 6th time) at the end of this month. Here’s to
keeping an open mind and continuing to try until I succeed!
Update: I did it! I passed my driving test. If I can do it, you most certainly can.
Whilst there are so many expectations of how and what we should be doing to achieve a
‘successful’ life, it’s easy to feel like a failure in comparison to others. But the main takeaway
from this article, and I hope consolation, is that we are all different. We are all on different
timelines. And there is no right way or wrong way to approach how we live our lives. Whether
you start driving in your 30s as I did, you decide to pivot in your career and re-train in a
different industry, if you decide marriage isn’t for you or whether you have children earlier or
later in life, your life decisions are yours and yours only.
We are all unique – and that should be celebrated. Weaknesses are strengths.